Personal Retreat: Day 1
Day one of my personal retreat weekend is drawing to a close. It has been a very restful day. Much sleep, plenty of letting my mind roam, and most imporatantly a lot of the Word.
My theme for the day, and likely for this whole time, has come from Lamentations 3. The one verse in particular that stands out: "The LORD is my portion, says my soul". Portion, my share, my all, my sustenance, my need. So often I live my life as if this view is not actually an intrinsic part of my existence. I seem to get my feeding (and feed) from other aspects of life, that just simply pale in comparison. Last night Kit was teaching on road-blocks and detours we face in life. One way that the Lord uses these in our lives is to change our direction and align our intentions. I can see so clearly how I have allowed things, thoughts, in my life that have prevented my intentionality for God. The Lord is calling me to find my portion in him - and him alone. I need to seek him, and ultimately REST in him - to wait patiently for him. This is the life he is calling me to, to rest and wait. I've seen hints of this before (Ps. 37), but it seems as though it's going to deeper depths now.
Finances as a face of frustration is one that was smashed again today as I was reading from the Gospel of Mark. Here the disciples had witnessed two mass feedings from next to no food and shortly later they start discussing how they had no food. Jesus responds to them, as if they were grumbling, and challenges them by saying "do you not remember?" (Mk 8:18). Oh, how I forget. The Lord's faithfulness has been unfailing, and yet I get rocked by a postage problem. Who is this God I really believe in anyway, and what am I concerned about? Forgetting is too much of a problem with us humans. We need to spend more time remembering and much less time worrying - at least that's what God seems to think.
Later I came across Mark 8 where Jesus says to us that if we want to come after him we must deny ourselves (vs. 34). This brings me back to the Lam. 3 passage about him being my portion. Not feeding myself, or feeding on what I want to feed on, but denying those things for his sake, adn for his insight; trusting in his deliverance and provision. Allowing him to save my life and to give me life.
My theme for the day, and likely for this whole time, has come from Lamentations 3. The one verse in particular that stands out: "The LORD is my portion, says my soul". Portion, my share, my all, my sustenance, my need. So often I live my life as if this view is not actually an intrinsic part of my existence. I seem to get my feeding (and feed) from other aspects of life, that just simply pale in comparison. Last night Kit was teaching on road-blocks and detours we face in life. One way that the Lord uses these in our lives is to change our direction and align our intentions. I can see so clearly how I have allowed things, thoughts, in my life that have prevented my intentionality for God. The Lord is calling me to find my portion in him - and him alone. I need to seek him, and ultimately REST in him - to wait patiently for him. This is the life he is calling me to, to rest and wait. I've seen hints of this before (Ps. 37), but it seems as though it's going to deeper depths now.
Finances as a face of frustration is one that was smashed again today as I was reading from the Gospel of Mark. Here the disciples had witnessed two mass feedings from next to no food and shortly later they start discussing how they had no food. Jesus responds to them, as if they were grumbling, and challenges them by saying "do you not remember?" (Mk 8:18). Oh, how I forget. The Lord's faithfulness has been unfailing, and yet I get rocked by a postage problem. Who is this God I really believe in anyway, and what am I concerned about? Forgetting is too much of a problem with us humans. We need to spend more time remembering and much less time worrying - at least that's what God seems to think.
Later I came across Mark 8 where Jesus says to us that if we want to come after him we must deny ourselves (vs. 34). This brings me back to the Lam. 3 passage about him being my portion. Not feeding myself, or feeding on what I want to feed on, but denying those things for his sake, adn for his insight; trusting in his deliverance and provision. Allowing him to save my life and to give me life.
posted by wil brillinger @ 12:13 AM
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